I've been emailing with a woman. I don't think she's into me, but we've become sorta email buddies. I'm hoping to meet her because on her profile she states she's into 'fisting.' Frankly the thought kinda freaks me out but I'm dying to see what kind of woman is 1) into that and 2) admits it upfront.
How many times can you lose to your mom in beer pong before you can no longer show your face around campus?
Whatever you do to me, stop, I found yet another blonde hair in my asshole.
I'm thankful she wil die Alone. And I'm thankful I slept wiht her cousin. And brother.
And he was super vague about his life, it was frustrating. I totally boned a homeless guy, didn't I?
Walking out of our apartment this morning to go to class, I saw a sticky note on the front door that said "get tested." The door was unlocked so did you bring some stranger back last night? I'm assuming you weren't referring to me...
Because 9 pm Thursday you drink a loco cause you just wanna get drunk and have a good time with your friends. Then you wake up on Tuesday and you've had 17 locos and you're pregnant, lying on the side of the road, 3 states over. THAT'S why we don't have only locos parties.
I made out with a guy because he ate a grape lollipop and he tasted delicious... not my proudest moment.
We took vodka shots. You kept saying it was the key to your heart.
and it's like......my shirt is off and he's talking about quidditch. why.
Congratulations! You can now legally do that thing you said you never do again!
THANKS! I'M SO EXCITED TO NOT DO THE THING
OMG YOU GO OUT AND NOT DO THAT THING, GIRL! I SUPPORT YOU 100%!!!
I just made my mom buy me lube. I've reached a new level of broke.
I went to Walmart last night to buy some CDs--which is a sentence I never thought I'd say in 2016.
I'll be honest, this year's Vegas trip will be nothing short of disappointing if there's no repeat of the angry ménage a trios in a closet.
That's why we have robots to masturbate for us
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