During sex he started singing that song in Forgetting Sarah Marshall--"Inside of You"--by Russell Brand
If I were a hot girl. I'd whore around, I'd be awesome.
Cant decide who was more of a mess the morning after... me when i passed out in the bathroom stall or you when you sprayed yourself down with hairspray thinking it was sunblock
Apparently there was a point in the night that they literally thought he was dead, ass naked on the floor. That bad.
I have a gash on my leg an a lobster leg in my purse.
Well if I'm going to hook up with every ethnicity by the end of undergrad, I need to be moving on
I don't know what that means. But if you take off your pants, you'll probably get arrested.
Invite that kid who wants to become a priest. I WANT ON.
I like the wholesome side of you
I'm so goddamned horny I could use all my pent up energy to tear a redwood out by its roots.
True freedom is running around a sex club in former power plant in Berlin wearing a boots, a jock
I'm taking a shit break of discontent as a personal protest
This hangover is too legit right now. I just sneezed and almost puked
I just noticed, at some point last night I got on iTunes and purchased over 100 classical piano songs.
"Here let me wipe my uterus off your dick" was probably the most unsexy thing said after period sex. I should get an award
I farted in the parking garage and it echoed.
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