I'll collect that couch/porn sloopy beedge tomorrow just FYI
Note: fake nails and fingering anus.... Not a good idea
he got up in front of the whole lecture hall and yelled that Charlie Brown's Christmas tree was his favorite book in the history of the universe. then he stumbled out the fire exit setting the alarm off. I could've jumped him right then and there.
i cant remember past the part when we filled his tub with skittles.
I found a map from his room to his bathroom this morning in my purse. Apparently I was too fucked up to get there without one.
We didn't need to cut her off. I'm pretty sure the lit candle she almost drank would have done it for us
I have three paper towels stuck up my vagina. This is not a time to be calm.
he just flipped me off the bed, said "deal with it", and came on me.
there's no excuse to just assume your pants won't be coming off for some reason or another. that's just irresponsible
It started with jello shots. It ended with tears.
At least I can pee in a cup like a champ at this point
Nothing is worse than post drunken playoff baseball loss sex
Also.. The Hobbit does not look like a cartoon. We were just too fucking high.
Do you know how hard it is to give a bj in your dead grandmothers car
Theres a handprint of sauce on my fridge, one on my face, and a trail of it leading to my bedroom, and sauce all in my bed, and I have no idea what the fuck i ate.
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