Things I find upon waking: a gay man, a straight girl both clad in web bathing suits, a full bathtub, an empyt bottle of jamesons at the bottom and a scuba mask
I swear god or herbie drove my car home
kerrys trying to convince everyone in the bar shes a lesbian. cheers to not being the drunkest girl in the room. i probably wont piss myself tonight.
There's an Captain Planet marathon because of Earth Day. I can't NOT turn this into a drinking game.
I appreciate the offer. Swallowing pride is much like swallowing cum, difficult and unpleasant
just had to explain to the health center why i wanted 50 condoms a month.
Just had a thought: were the sirens on when we were in the ambulance?
Okay. So my choices are the sleeping Guy who looks about twelve and a man that looks like he was the original sandman. Im gonna need a beer for this......
i would like you to please flash back to us blacked out in the bathroom when you told me i needed to take one for the team and have a threesome with you and jon to help your relationship. you then told me you had no issue putting ghb in my drink to make it happen.
I went up by the border of Canada. We took shrooms and went fishing...pretty sure we killed a dragon and ate it for dinner
Just participated in the saddest thing: Cheetos. Handjob. I have lost at life
You said you couldn't use your body anymore so you made me push the buttons on your phone while you made alien sound effects
I'm gonna be the best dressed mother fucker to ever get kicked out of that damn bar.
Your ex roommate is making out w the kid who pees on floors and it's kinda funny
Turns out tits aren't quite as effective an enticement when they know for a fact that they can't touch.
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