he told me he once ran a blackmarket liquor store out of his house. thats all it took for me to go home with him
I know I hit you with my car but people express love in different ways. Everyone is different.
The secrurity code on my debit card is 420, can not lose this card.
one night of dollar margs at dinner and dollar beers at the bar later, i am throwing up in his shower and gurgling soap and water to kill the taste of sin in my mouth. dollar days need to stop endng like this.
I only get commercials for vodka and Rogaine now. You're exactly right, Hulu. That's exactly right.
I was trying to chase her off the carpet, but now there are figure-eights of cat vomit. everywhere
You have ruined sex with him for me. Now all I think is "boy scout" and I want to go home
My tights ended up on the driveway folded neatly. Any ideas how that happened?
The beer bottle was sticking out of your zipper and you shook it onto unsuspecting patrons
That is cause you are some weird type of mutant that lives off of Alcohol.
Look, you don't know disfunction until you've sat on the john taking a shit and crying while totally sober.
We got a noise complaint for vacuuming too much but not for getting really high and yelling about peanut butter
Cause I know you wanna ride the D like a Vespa in ROMAN HOLIDAY
They walked into the house to see me in my neon pink knee high socks trying to pull you out of the cat carrier by your legs...
Just got recognized as black out drunk girl. I'm never going to live that down, am I?
Randomize
