Now hope fervently that she'll do it quick and cheap, just the way i like it
You surviving the open bar?
Super asto ex polenta omaha botad
i wish there were pregnant emoticons
she was talking to me but i could help but stare at the extremely long hairs on her boobs. then she says, "your looking at the hair on my boobs aren't you"
I think I can smell my own vagina right now
She gave such good road head it was turned into side-of-the-road head for everyone's safety
Kripsy Kremes at our place, bring your own coffee. And your own donuts because these ones are ours.
I was looking at our sex bingo and pretty much every single row or column has at least one kind of person that is harder to find than all the rest
We've made things harder for ourselves
The struggle will be part of the fun
And now you understand the importance of Saturday naps.
Because you stay up all night having sex and eating sushi?
I made a separate snapchat account so I could swap nudes with a guy from omegle.
Why do all of your bad decisions sound like fucked up mad libs?
I feel like I smell like bad decisions
Sex in a tree, bucket list CHECK!
Fun fact: You might be drunk if your vision is so blurry that you almost ask "do you know where my glasses are?" while you're wearing them.
Obviously you're feeling a little sexually frustrated.
I consider humping a stranger every ten minutes when I walk in the street.
I am drunk shake weighting right now.
Randomize
