awww and there was just a proposal on stage with the pussycat dolls !!!!!
Did someone propose they get off the stage?
Why is it that every time I type the word "give" my phone spells out HIV?! You know how many people i've told I want to HIV them something!
Ugh, here's a dating tip. Hairy legs are a major turn off
when the police officer said he was gonna take a picture of the car accident, you asked if you should pose on the hood
You drunk invited us to do an intervention for you.
my dad just told me he found me on the kitchen floor saturday morning with a microwave dinner on top of me, fork still in hand. priceless
Looks like a significant portion of my drinking money just became legal fees.
College freshman give noticeably better blowjobs by the 5th week of the semester.
They're having lesbian sex while I play super mario world. I hope they like the music
Woke up to a note written on my hand that read "just because he kisses you, doesn't mean you have to sleep with him"
next time, write it on your vagina so its more effective.
It was just a Craigslist hook up but she wore sweats. Where are the girls with class?
You were a for sure 10. You put on a traffic cone to meet someone.
I just woke up and there was a condom wrapper stuck in my hair. This is my life.
Didn't you sleepover at your grandparents?
Can we climb Your roof?
No bitch its 2am go home.
I never thought I'd be on my couch watching Star Trek, getting my tits rubbed while crying.
Randomize
