doug butabi!
steve butabi!
hotties wanna shake it
I'm in that stage of denial where I hope our kids have his nose.
You do realize that you broke up with him, right?
Boys can't fool me. I know "want to come up and meet my dogs?" is just a nondirect way of saying "come up and meet my penis".
the can pyramid on my head actually reached a decent height before I moved.
Hung over does not do it justice. I am hung like a horse over. I am hungover and over and over. I am hung, drawn and quartered fucking over. They just told me I can't keep my sunglasses on in the office. Fuck drinking with you people.
I'm just planning on experiencing Disney as adult style as it gets. Drinking bloody mary's at dawn and telling all the kids waiting in lines how badly their future sucks and that Santa isn't real.
okay when i look at this i can see it on the future news along with the headline "picture scandal involving senatorial candidate sexually harassing drunken idiot in what appears to be a pink room of pain"
Both of our knuckles were split open this morning when I came out of the blackout, the column on the porch has two new cracks in it, were like the redneck Super Smash Bros.
New guy at the liquor store was inexplicably fascinated by our huge jug of williams. First he said what are you gonna mix THAT with? and looked confused when I said air.
I guess that means I was blowing a nerd last week.
And loving it.
You know you need to get it together when a frat guy wakes you up and says you need to go to class
Gonna be late for work. Sex comes first. Priorities.
On a scale of 0 to Thanksgiving, there is no amount of food that fights against tequila.
You gonna smoke this blunt? Or are you gonna keep doing Kung-fu in my kitchen?
Quote of the night award goes to my father "I like wearing my swim trunks around the house because they are cooler and more blousy for my balls". Yay dad
Randomize
