hes 24 and dating a highschool junior and keeps saying how happy he is. happy about what? her ACT score??
It was an igloo shaped doghouse, I was obligated to hotbox it
I woke up wearing nothing but his lifeguard whistle..
Is it weird that I want your dad to go down on me?
I spent an hour trying to convert bar outfits to church outfits. Its hard.
I'm questioning the dried chocolate syrup on my tits.
I just couldn't load the family groceries on to the same seat where I had sex 12 hours ago.
What is the protocol for an "i'm sorry I had my ex retrieve me from the bar so I didn't drive drunk" blow job
I definitely hasselhoffed a taco bell burrito on my kitchen floor in front of my dad and little brother.
This is now the friendly bartender typing for him. He wants to be on you. He is going to "destroy your vagina". Good luck and sorry if this woke you up!
Cheez-its and a bottle of cab...for under $10 you could win this girls heart
I got back from work this morning after working the night shift to find an NFL player scaling the side of our apartment...from your window. He just took sneaking out to all new level. Care to explain?
I think that about sums it up, actually.
I watched you down those shots like a lion cub watching its mother rip apart a gazelle
Beyoncé wouldn't let anything bad happen here
But truly, sorry about your empty vagina
Thanks boo.
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