possible father of this baby just finished his test first in a lecture of 200 people. other possible father finished about 100th.
I'm rooting for #1.
I'm watching ellen!
just because im gay does not mean you need to notify me every time you watch the ellen degeneres show
i feel like our whole relationship was one big acid trip
The plus side of face planted at the tailgate was that no one could see my nipples hanging out.
We lived together for a year and neither of us knew we were both gay.
you kept yelling "this bitch stole my phone" to the guy who found you passed out in the parking lot
and I believe it was when I was running to class to take a test still drunk in my Halloween costume that I realized I have reached that point in the semester where I just don't give a flying fuck anymore.
My sister was crawling her way home and kept asking us to carry her,then she insisted on grabbing at our ankles til she passed out, how was your night?
Whoever said that remembering a girls name is a basic rule for getting laid has never met me.
This stranger told me I should "start playing for the other team" and then continued to talk to me about the joys of being a lesbian
Hootey the Owl eats a mean pussy.
Um, OK. WTF?
The guy from the Halloween party. We finally hooked up. Went down in me for 45 mins. Came 4 times.
It took me three days, but I managed to nearly get arrested on my way out of LA. Made it to the airport. Crisis averted, though. The real crime is, my flight is delayed two hours.
Is it bad that I recognize every dick in your dic pic collection?
Drunk is not a location!
I'm sure as hell not getting hoodwinked into going back to rehab again
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