So Ive decided I have serious issues. Im walking around the school with a bag labeled booze money collecting from people while slightly hungover at 8:20 in the morning, and nobody is questioning me.
i don't think my dad can get all that mad since he got arrested for almost exactly the same thing last weekend
I know, but I was really high and I felt like a failure dragon because I could only blow smoke, no fire.
Sometimes you gotta take the crosseyed stripper. fuck it
Sudue. BIG CUP LOTS OF NOMNOMD TUOSPY
He offered me a ride home but i walked. He lives by an elementary school so a 10 yr old safety officer helped me across the street during my walk of shame
I wasn't hungover this morning. My head just hurt because someone tried to suction cup a dildo to my forehead.
He couldn't stand on his own, but he managed to somehow to get to the beer garden and get served 3 more. I'm proud to call him my cousin.
Sorry I was drunk and left blood all over your back seat I was pretending to be in private Rayan and used your thong as a bandage
my roommate is sobbing and looking at photos of elephants. i'm so confused.
I think i just fucked the same guy a second time without realizing it....does that make me a good whore or a bad whore???
He just whispered "doors are weird" and then laughed so hard he fell down the stairs.
Just sitting at dinner with my dad...simultaneously texting "daddy" to confirm saturday's spanking and telling another guy to get condoms before Im done with dinner. Don't know when I got so ate up but I'm loving it. You?
Regretting asking you what you were doing.
I would say don't do anything I wouldn't do, but we both know I forget about my personal safely when getting laid is on the line
It’s a hundred kinds of wrong to do Jell-O shots at home alone. Right?
I support drinking alone. But Jell-O shots. That’s a game changer.
Randomize
