My milkshake brings 85 to 90 percent of the boys to the yard
i love how cold weather makes identifying sluts easier. is it below freezing? is she wearing a tube top? she's easy.
It could have went better. They kicked us out of the casino and I drunkenly whipped her across the face with a fishing pole. Long story.
America approved of our night. A bald eagle flew over us at 7am
What can I say, he stumbled upon the key to my heart: orgasms and mac 'n cheese.
He came in my eye, I lost my earring and all of his friends saw me topless. Happy New Year to you as well.
I have an excuse to be a whore in Mexico. I'm conducting an experiment to see if small dicks are caused by the poor drinking water.
Used my phone to vibrate 'eye of the tiger'. It's like Rocky is punching my nuts, but gently.
I FINALLY HAVE A REASON TO DYE MY PUBES BLUE!!!
Question. Was fucking Laura an entirely regrettable decision?
like...quickly.
We decided to try to steal hot dogs but it ended up with me punching him in the face and crying. Pretty solid night
we just drove past a kid stuck in a tree what a wonderful time to be alive
.... I'm on a random couch somewhere in Newark wrapped in a Lightning McQueen blanket
We just fucked in the park on a bench and a guy with a dog walked past us and the dog walked right up to us while the guy stared at his phone.
Lobby closes at 2 AM on Thursday, but everyone walking still wants food... I could run a "Taco Bell Taxi" when I clock off at 2 and charge a dollar to give drunks a ride through drive thru.
Someones thought of a way to afford tuition.
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