he was so hot that i framed the used condom. it's not trash, it's art.
she gave me a handjob while we were watching elf.... it's that time of year again!!
Over it. He probably jacked off to bible verses last night. I don't want that
I puked in the AC vent. thing are gonna get ugly come summertime.
I'm pregaming before our pregaming dinner...with peanut butter and beer. I think I need to re-evaluate my budget...
Just the budget?
So he told me he wanted to fertilize my caviar. Im avoiding all foreign exchange students from now on.
sarah just described his penis as "like bong-girth." I'm gunna go for it.
No she stopped screaming. Now she's eating popcorn. Off a plate. With a spoon.
he needs to hurry and make his mind up... i mean i can't keep getting peed on by a guy who isn't even my boyfriend
The Angel on my shoulder is now resorting to merely reminding me that, "You will regret this later." I'm not sure if he's learning how I think or just giving up. Either way, should make life a bit more interesting.
Do you remember lying across two tables saying 'go away I'm trying to pull' to me, Sollie and Sean?
Amnesty Wednesday? I'm free to do dirty things to you and you can't laugh or judge?
IF I CANT STRIP TO SANTA BABY THEN WHY EVEN HAVE CHRISTMAS.
I was dreaming of a parallel reality and in the dream I just looked up at my present self and was like "you're high, man"
Swear on my life the dude next to us just ordered a pizza and I will fight to the death for a slice
Randomize
