My right nipple has been called many things but never a ghost pig
We just had the worst moment of our late twenties.... We just realized we are too old for the real world
at the topless march for equality..and wow.not all these boobs should be treated equally
we just finished making mockaritas... then we prayed
god you guys know how to party
worst. bachelorette party. ever.
Changed my mind. Wearing a dress. Casual, with a side of breasts.
You threw up on yourself, then proceeded to tell us "to not make a mess in your car"
i woke up completely naked except for a bottle of beer saran wrapped in between my boobs
Is it possible to get a DUI in a wheelchair that's not yours?
You are such a cockblock sometimes
You NEED a cockblock sometimes
Yikes. I usually have a 24-hour waiting period between sex partners. You know, like for a handgun.
Get drunk. Masturbate to his picture. Fall asleep. Repeat. Fuck summer.
A dude I dated in high school just put a status about National Coming Out day. I checked his relationship status. He is dating a dude. Hello, Friday.
He called my vagina "the man cave", and I found it charming
I think that maybe Alyssa may of had too much to drink. is it normal for her to straddle random people in quizno's?
Oh! I forgot to tell you. Part of that weird ass dream last night. I was jamie lee curtis and I cut off all my hair because yogurt.
Randomize