I thought she had more class and brains than to date a complete numb-nut, drug addict, fuck up like him. People never cease to amaze me
You guys sftrill at mcdondalds?!!!!
Yes.
fuckin bring me a cheseburgeria
I can't go out tonight I need to save my money for important things.....like rogaine and ecstasy.
I pull out like 90% of the time, but that's just to make art.
Convincing a cop that you have diplomatic immunity is way harder in Dallas than in Serbia. And you get fined for attempted bribery.
I did the walk of shame in nothing but a sleeping bag and now I'm on my way to pick up plan B. Let's not make a habit of this.
Sounds like a good New Years
17. The number of times my one night stand told me he loved me.
I'm in a corner eating carrots and drinking champagne. I've hit a new kind of low.
How is that low? I love carrots.
Guess who's the proud owner of her very own foxtail butt plug!!
They put me in room 420 every time and I take bubble baths and smoke in the room and they bring food TO MY BED
Only the sound of Friends and my gulping of wine are masking the sounds of my roommate getting laid
I made out with my moms boyfriends son last night. Thanksgiving is gonna be reeeal fun!
he was peeing off the deck shouting "urinals are for pussies" that's how much hurricane.
Would it be inappropriate to meet you at the airport after your family vacation so I can tell you all about the amazing sex I have been having?
Got a blowjob while watching James Bond's "Octopussy." My 13 year old self would be so proud
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