You'd love this place it's beautiful. Plus these people smell like garlic
Midnight walks are trippy
I tried to do that earlier, but I was alone and scared, so I stole a happy Birthday balloon.
I said i love rain, just to change the subject, and he said 'id like to do it in the rain'. Dear lord. He doesnt stop
I pulled my tongue muscle last night. your welcome.
Be still, my beating vagina.
I walked from the hotel to the club with a pint of tequila in my boot. Poured some in a homeless woman's mouth when she asked for change. I've hit rock bottom.
I woke up this morning to find a stuffed animal submerged in the toilet. I'm not entirely sure if it was the cat or Kara.
Boys should be on-demand - like, once you select one, he's yours for the next 24-hours
Would it be wildly inappropriate for me to tailgate a Jonas brothers concert?
I think John will remember that birthday for a while. I'm still dying at the fact a stripper was hunting me down.
so evidently blowing a guy does not mean he will say hi to you when he sees you in class.. in case you're ever wondering
Dear sober self, your keys are on the table in front of you the only way your typing this is with autocorrect goodnight love you
Currently standing at the bus stop in just a pillowcase and its fucking snowing
Umm I might be late. Also I am may or may not have mayonnaise on my ass
I just had a morning three-some with marijuana and a detachable shower-head
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