Packed at 6 am completely wasted. Damage assessment: 12 pairs of socks (no underwear), a flashlight, 3 shorts, shot glass, 8 sweaters, puff paint, one sneaker.
I'm wearing an NBA shooting sleeve while jerking off...and yes my arm has stayed warm
I got to the point where it seemed like she had 8 giant breasts instead of just two
she screamed "my eye!" and it brought me a surge of bad memories. except she was yelling about a lemon.
He left with a pair of dress shoes, some goggles, and a shot glass. I think we should follow him.
I thought he was joking about the hundred beer challenge until two guys showed up with a camera and boom mic. This cabin party is going to be fucked
They should have to wear some identification that warns you to stay away. Like one of those cones dogs wear to keep them from biting stitches. CONE OF SHAME.
It's pitch dark except for the glow sticks, someone turned the heat up as high as it would go and the bathroom is flooded. Also think I just stepped on someone's face.
So I dropped $130 while buying shots for an army ranger, got my fake taken, almost went to jail, and came out of my black out when I was talking to the cops with a stolen detour sign in my hands.
I've never seen a guy eye-fuck someone so hard in my entire life. I thought he would develop laser vision, bore holes into your body, and not even realize your innards would be spilling everywhere. That's how bad it was.
Oh, AND I met a ukulele teacher that I'd date. So there's that.
Dumb decision of the night...walking home drunk and smelling my pepper spray
I woke up naked to an alarm set for 11:18 pm and missing a shoe. How was your night?
I found more straws in my beard this morning. Please stop doing that.
A girl I had a drunken hook up with is on interventon right now
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