If it were my dying wish, would you come over 2nite 2 save me?:):):) wana come anyways?
I'm trashed wearing your mom's snuggie. She says hello.
I think we should urban dictionary "drive of shame." It involves a sprint to your car in his underwear and shirt, surreptitiously trying to put on your bra on at stoplights without attracting attention from neighboring cars, and lurking in your car a block from home so you can know when your roommate leaves for work.
you might want to delete the history when you're done using the computer at work. did you ever find out what the white balls in your throat were?
i want tt clbm rinabw nd ride uncrn
what?
i wnt tto climb a rainboww and ride a unicornnnnnnnnn
There's a show on bravo about fat people dancing. FAT PEOPLE. DANCING.
This is god's gift to the unemployed.
As a driver I hate pedestrians, and as a pedestrian I hate drivers, but no matter what the mode of transportation, I always hate cyclists.
He' s half Black and half Italian, I finally asked...this penis maybe one for the records.
Why is there a frozen condom filled with water in my freezer?
wait can you just like go into detail with this penis touching thing? like was it a hand job or was it like a day at the petting zoo or something
We just got in a fight with grandma b/c she tried to tell us you didn't go hard.
Did you take the full box of samoas or do I not remember getting baked and eating half a box by myself?
I'm never going to adult. I'm staying a child. The only thing related to adult that I want to do is you.
I just opened my travel toothbrush holder and it smelled like vodka...maybe a vodka cranberry. This says a lot about my vacations.
when she didn't finish her burrito you wanted to call the cops because you said it was neglect
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