Oh just a soda. I'm "driving"
I just had an epiphany. There is NOTHING TO STOP ME from making cake mix and eating it all instead of making a cake. It feels like my entire life has peaked at this moment.
she's not even a shacker, she never made it inside. she's just a porch girl
just spent the last 4 hours searching ex-girlfriend porn to make sure there are no photos of me
I'm gagging in the liquor aisle just thinking about how much alcohol I'll be drinking this weekend.
Thanks for not stopping me when I decided to call my mom at 2 in the morning to ask her where I was born
Word is he has some crazy hawaiian STD
they night at the roxbarryed us. came out of nowhere,bought us shots, and then the big one licked my hand? we got out of that noise.
he's my ex-boyfriend's best friend... he tried to make out with me to prevent me from hitting his friend. then they almost fought about it.
teach me your ways.
God, for the last time, no I did not break my nose doing a keg-stand just for a nose job.
When the cab driver starts laughing its a good indication of the standard of girls you are bringing home
Fun fact. I just wrapped myself in wrapping paper for a sext. Is this a new high or a new low stay tuned.
I woke up naked and you weren't here. What a relief.
And the last thing I remember was you in the bed with the german guy screaming "wrong hole" I laughed n passed out
I always knew ther was a reason why we're best friends
Obvs our love of drugs
I like to think of it more as our love of curiosity
Randomize
