My eyes are so dilated i literally have night vision right now.
so after he got his stomach pumped, he asked for a smoking room.
DID YOU JUST COME OUT THROUGH A FACEBOOK COMMENT??
Now he's galloping around the bar. I don't know whether to laugh or cry.
my life is about to be the like the hunger games except with penises. and im going to win.
I'm making him come over again tonight. I don't know how long this thing will last so I want to spend as much time with his dick as possible.
Just delivered a pizza to a holiday inn and a delivery driver from Me n Ed's walked up at the same time, we both were going to the same floor so we stood in the elevator making small talk about delivery stuff, but a small part of me wanted to deck him, stand over him and shout,"FOR THE HUT MOTHERFUCKER, FOR THE HUT!"
Jesus christ, don't start a pizza delivery gang war.
Come back. Shots need mouths.
I'm 2 beers deep on an empty stomach, and I just wanna say, I pride myself on my use of commas
did you just correct my grammar and then send me a photo of your dick?
I just need some breakup sex yanno like filthy wish fulfilling breakup sex to make me forget what I never had
I can hear the pillow talk now, "how many condoms did you bring? Good, put them all on,"
He's actually really cute and seems like a good guy. And given that he likes lots of drugs, he could come in handy.
I feel like hooking up with you on my floor, sneaking out my window and jumping a fence is an effort that deserves a happy birthday.
I've come to the conclusion, I should prob have at least 20 hr supervision. I would say 24, but I'm guaranteed to pass out for at least 4 hrs a day
Randomize
