Honestly... isn't she a psych major? how does she go through life NOT realizing that everything she does is a cry for help?
Were going to have to vacuum the bathtub, great party
She just cut the six pack plastic up and screamed "save the dolphins"..she also threw away cans of tuna. I like this girl.
What changed your mind?
Being sober
Things were easy when he was just a penis. Now he's a penis with feelings.
Finals drinking + forgeting you had to take your ambien because you work at 6am mid paper= drunk logic which then entails going on a "detox" run. Puking your guts put in the field house bushes while some random guy says to you "its okay. We're marching on."
Dude you spoke to a girl about CRICKET. She MUST want sex
Just used the handle end of a spatula to get the baggie of coke wedged between my passenger seat. Innovation points?
I also know you puked in your shoe.
That would explain the note .... I apparently wrote myself an apology note from drunk to sober me .... saying "sorry for the fancy shoe soup" .... ugh I'll never drink again ...
I'm bringing my passport in case we get drunk and wind up in Mexico
I worked all year for this tax return. I deserve to get my nipples pierced.
Well it might’ve been because you asked to play What Makes You Beautiful at the club
Dude I may be rolling but there's no way I can make up a 12 ft tall giant green man waving to me right now
False alarm, security just told me it's a radio tower
I don't wanna see it, I don't wanna touch it, I just want it in me.
You walked into the frat house and screamed "whose down to fuck" i think they were more intimidated than anything
Randomize
