i have a strong urge to join the asians in the park doing tai chi. I think im still high .
You're pretty and everything..but you aren't worth the DUI
I didnt believe in cockblocking untill my roomate brought home that.
Yeaaah. I'm kinda wary about that guy. Does he still have that taser that he found on the train?
He was having a "party in the princess castle." At what point do I blindfold him and take him to AA?
It's take your daughter to work day... I really shouldn't be here right now
Sometimes you gotta take mushrooms and swim on a rooftop pool to figure out your relationship
How do I discreetly dispose of sex toy packaging that is recyclable? What to do...what to do?
Yeah I'm at the doctors getting a shotand don't know how to tell them I'm still probably drunk from last night
I told you for Halloween we just need to let the loins free! Let the girth come to us in a flock, drenched with passion!
whatcha doing?
lying in bed pretending to be a slug
She's sent me the same nudes using the same gestures and positions... It's like she has a template for her sluty-ness
My new plan is to whip out my titties when they arrive. Maybe they won’t notice that I broke the couch fucking my boss...
honestly, you deserve someone taller anyways
Also I literally googled "how to fold socks" so that's how my day is going. How's yours?
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