Did you go home with that guy without me?
Sorry boo - it's pouring and I found a boy with a car
i am watching brooke knows best right now and hulk is totally dating his daughter's look a like. it is gross and disturbing.
the most pressuring question is, why are you watching brooke knows best?.
I GOT MY PERIOD!
damn. i had names picked out.
my dad told me i had to spend my money wisely..so i spent the money he gave me for a desk chair on weed. ill be so high i wont even notice its gone
Nothing good has ever or will ever come from 50 cent beers at the bowling alley..
I think this girl gave me a handjob thinking that I would help her with her cell phone bill
omg. that's awesome
Those mornings you wake up with a Barbie tramp stamp are the mornings that are the that are going to make me miss this place
You were saying you didn't want to go home and insisted that I drop you guys off at your uncles. That's how you ended up sleeping on a porch with two dudes
Did you get an erection too during Paul Ryan's speech?
He told me I was his first American. I feel like I should've brought a flag to plant on him.
Remember Christopher who always sends me pictures of his penis? Look to your right, boy in the blue.
Thank you for listening to my rant about tacos.
Not sure if buying Twisted Teas for the alcoholics posted up outside the gas station counts as paying it forward but I am optimistic.
DO NOT FUCK YOUR ENGAGED GAY NEIGHBOR!
Fuck you bitch. You're married. You got a live-in dick at home for your needs. I still gotta surf this shitty town's bars for cock
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