a stripper queefed in my friends mouth last night and it reminded me of you. miss you
Some dude at the gas station right now is buying a 30 rack of beast and a can of cat food. Happy Thanksgiving.
As it would turn out, "jesusssssss" is not the password to enter Faith Chapel's wifi network.
Sitting next to a retarded hot married man on the plane, I got 6.5 hrs to homewreck this shit.
she might purposely get aids just to give it to you. I think she might hate you that much.
get to allyx's house asap
Ok is everything ok
Yeah, theres just lesbians
omg yes on my way
She made out with me for a free sandwich. What makes you think she is NOT up to my standards?
Just beat off to internet porn while talking to my mom on the phone and eating a cinnamon roll. U have 5 minutes to get on my level
All i know is we had 4 people on a tandum bike, and told the cops we couldnt stop because our momentum was so good.
I swear to Christ if it turns out to be an intervention, i will set you on fire.
We also had a full on debate about how realistic and useful teleportation and time travel would be...and only used Twilight Zone episodes as "scientific evidence"
Summary of my night: made out with a complete stranger at a club dressed in the Geico gecko costume...
Did we seriously steal a wet floor sign from McDonald's then get chased down by a homeless man for it? Never drinking again.
The last person that asked me out got pushed down an escalator
Had sex outside for the third time last night. Mosquito bites all over my ass, and i think i have a rash on my nipples. When will i learn.
Just wait till winter
Randomize
