Girls should come with a carfax report
Yea i traded my bed for half a bag of jimmy johns jalepno chips, am I proud of it no, Am I happy I did it? yes
she was carrying the quesadilla around the bar like a security blanket
Don't play hard to get, I've seen some of the girls you've slept with.
Sorry for punching you in the face last night. I should have known the boxing gloves were a bad idea from the start.
I have just two goals for this NYE. 1) get so drunk that every guy looks like Clive Owen 2) make out with as many Clive's as possible.
The guys had to come into the bar bathroom and pep talk us all off the floor
Also- bikini mowing was a horrible idea. One truck just drove by 3 times, turning around at the end of the block each time. My tan may be better for it but my conscience has been raped.
Being with her was like shitty sexual fear factor big ass sausage nipples over sized outty belly button i was scared and drunk tell know one
He was chasing Ciroc shots with sips of Captain Morgan... he didn't make it to midnight
I vaguely remember us chasing shots by licking each other's faces last night. Our friendship has reached another level completely.
We smoked a huge blunt and then laid in bed naked eating strawberry shortcake good humor bars. We have the perfect relationship.
Apparently calling shotgun while getting put into a police car is frowned upon
I don't know which is weirder: that she was old enough to have a live-in son close to my age, or that the woman he was with was close to hers
He wanted me to do the rubix cube. He thought it was hot.
Randomize