Locked eyes w/ her at mainstreet, and said 'yeah yeah get it!' From there we started violently making out on the dancefloor (I had a FULL boner, ps) and then I got her number
Wish I didn't live with 3 girls so I could beat off in peace.
Sometimes to bang a cougar u gotta play wii With her kids
shes on the floor puking and texting simultaneously.
They were done having sex when I went to the room. They had that look on their faces.
Disappointment?
no i do not regret standing at the wendys drive thu handing the employees mardi gra beads to get free chicken nuggets
I just won't go as hard tonight. Four dollar ladies night drink or drown is not a good idea for me. I like to get my money's worth.
he turned down sex AND sandwiches. who the hell does that?!
yo your bro wants to know what time he got home and were you hosing him off
He just kept screaming "I have democratic immunity" as the cops dragged him into the car.
i woke up to you and that girl going out onto the balcony naked
oh sorry man.. we went outside because we DIDN'T want to wake you
Vodka Vensday. With a Russian accent... It counts.
It's 4am & this guy is asleep with his junk still inside me..really rethinking my life
a guy messaged me on POF to ask if I knew of any places that were hiring. And was being completely deadass serious. I'm so done
Mike Pence got the fuck boy eyes though
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