does he have a tent? the camping kind not the boner kind.
Sorry I never got back to you. I got high. I know it sounds like a commercial or something... but its true
My own mom unfriended me on Facebook.
While drunk it seemed like a good idea to barricade my roommate in his room with everything that we could move in our apartment, waking up to him screaming from it collapsing on top of him was just an added bonus.
his profile picture is a blurry one of him holding a beer. i recognized him instantly.
Make good choices ;) This is your automated cockblock message
No, no, no. Fuck you. I took a glass blowing class solely to learn how to make that bong. You shattered it and my dreams in a matter of five seconds.
and yes i will spend 10 dollars on a vibrating toothbrush to masturbate but not a calculator for my test
My clothes are covered in blood and I feel like I drank a gallon of elephant cum...it's safe to say I'm hungover
Also this freshmen guy is talking about his gag reflex and no one is making blowjob jokes. I have no faith in the next generation.
your life is not complete until you watch a gaggle of murderous clowns dance to gangnam style.
also, what is the correct term for a shit ton of clowns?
I feel like I was playing penis roulette last night nd I landed on the wrong one.
I think I gave a random lady a dildo
Again?!
Either my apartment is haunted or I'm far more drunk than I thought
and then she sorta stared at me like "holy shit" and I looked down and my dog was licking her ass
Ruff night.
Randomize
