I must say, I don't like the act of throwing up, but the feeling after is quite delightful
She laid down on my bed and played "I want you to want me" on my laptop. subtle.
I think I just met the technical qualifications for binge drinking in five minutes
We couldn't even have sex we were both laughing so hard. I don't know how I feel about the quality of that weed.
you woke up and yelled "the tv is moving" and fell on the floor and passed back out
Well he has a girlfriend. So I told him that I wanted to have sex way more than I wanted to be a decent human being.
duuuude the clock in this car says its 85 past 19.
dear god, who put you in a cab?
come help me. im curled up in the fetal position on the upper floor of the lib. please bring more caffeine or alcohol
its ok. its hell week the lib is a no judgment zone right now
Okay now that I've been wanting to eat these hot cheetos in the bathroom, I know it's time I need to stop smoking and go to sleep.
In case you were wondering, yes I did just watch the Katy Perry movie alone on a Saturday night. I'm so alone it makes a noise.
If anyone remembers any details of tonight please address concerns to my lawyer. This is a mass text.
I'm gonna try and get through this weekend sober, which is gonna be tough especially since I've already started drinking.
You're supposed to discourage my sluttiness not bring me hot Colombian men
The shrooms were awesome. Everyone's bones in their face looked so beautiful! Everyone had great face structures.
we promised ourselves we wouldn't get too drunk, and what happens? I wake up the next morning with half a mcdouble in one pocket and some barbie clothes in the other.
Randomize
