So when exactly did I get naked and makeout with the statue?
Woo Hoo! Just saw Asian kids with rocker mullets. Tried to get a picture on my phone, but you know how those ninjas are.
wouldn't it be funny if when girls shaved their vaginas, they gave them sideburns?
but instead of smelling like hand cream and homemade cookies, she smells like a yeast infection.
well it doesn't count as a walk of shame if he drops you off at your class in his golf cart
She thought I was gay, so I told her I'd be more comfortable with anal. She agreed.
i would eat my own dick if it were covered in nutella
Woke up with my foot jammed into a VCR
the whole "pretend to be sober/pull it together for my family" thing really blew up in my face when i threw up into my pillowcase.
You had us pull over so you could pee, you proceeded to pee in some random persons front yard while yelling "im not ashamed"
You left for an hour, then walked up to us at the bar, pulled 80 dollars out of your bra and yelled " drinks are on him".
That boy has a whole ocean of crazy lying just beneath the surface waiting to rise up, he's like the tar sands of crazy
The hint wasn't even a hint. it said "stop talking to her" that's pretty straightforward
Dude, I can't even reach my asshole to wipe it. I have a lot more to be thankful for this Thanksgiving.
I can't help you there
Y'all let us switch shirts in the middle of 200 people....why did you let me get this drunk by noon?
Randomize
