She tried to have sex with him but he quote unquote respected her
His band may suck, but it's not like I'm sleeping with all of them.
i found the one person in the world who takes longer to cum than i do... mutual dissatisfaction is probably not the best foundation for a relationship.
Let's review the facts-we're bored, we have a ton of beer, and we live 5 minutes from the zoo. This equation is easily solvable
Just got booked to do a bachelorette party for a polygamist wedding. And notice I only text you to rub things in your face and show you my life shits on yours. Daily.
not now. havin a heart to heart with drunk fred flinstone
buying a tattoo gun on ebay just sounded like a good idea at the time idk man
He said that I looked like a "ghost had crawled up into my vagina and died"..so yeah, I'd say the hangover was noticeable.
My girl came home. i was jacking off on the couch and she just starts telling me about her day, as if im not half naked with my hand on my cock.
The attempted closet masturbation was unforgivable.
That was the most fucked up I've ever seen him. He had the fucking Canola Oil!
It's funny because every time I go up and down the stairs it's an adventure. A A DRUNK ADVENTURE. PS I ALREADY THREW UP WTF
Look I'm sorry I stuffed your wife's bouquet toss but I won't have that weak shit in my house.
I need to reevaluate my stance on weekday hangovers...
Does it count as a threesome if your friend drunkenly has sex on top of you while you're passed out?
Just blew on a shot of whiskey to cool it off, like it was soup...
Randomize
