its like think what a normal person would think but completely the opposite.
You'd think with all the porn he watches he'd be a little better at this...
her bf's celebrating 10 yrs of service at kfc...it's safe to say all the good men are taken
let's just pour the lemonade mix into the soco. cut out the middle man.
We were just talking bout putting on helmets and going fo a car ride just to see how ppl react. I will def fit in here haha
Let me put it this way - if I had a list of things I would like between my legs, she would rank below the cello I turned into firewood sophomore year.
We were having sex and his high flatmates stood outside his room playing the guitar and singing Somebody to Love by Justin Beiber. Weirdest night ever.
You're wonderful. How are you always such a good friend?
50% genetics, 50% driven by a desire for people to drunkenly eat donuts at my funeral and then have fantastic cry-sex afterward.
It was kicking off big time until you crawled out the bar on your hands and knees. Nobody wanted to mess with that.
Pulled a muscle in my back masturbating. But still listed as probable.
How do you forget making out with a coworker in the dressing room at Sears on more than one occasion?
...object impermanence?
the staff put glowsticks in the urinals of the porta-pottys last night and honestly drunk me has never been more grateful for anything in his life
lmao he sent me a snapped but i'm afraid to open.
i think i have dick pic PTSD.
I AM SO HORNY, I AM GOING TO DIE. I NEED SOMEONE TO WISH MY VAGINA A MERRY CHRISTMAS.
He couldn’t find my clit with a map. Literally. I drew him a map.
Randomize
