people would bow to what i just did to her vagina
I just googled maps his house, and took the virtual tour back to my apartment, just so I could visualize the walk of shame in the morning
His shirt was in the kitchen sink this morning, I'm pretty sure my roommates know.
The only birthday messages I got from men were from my 8th grade boyfriend and the bouncer at our bar. I think I'm doing something wrong in life.
Just took the worst coed shower ever. We both cried. AND I only shaved one leg.
She straight up told me, "I don't care if he films as long as he's quiet." You sure you can't find the camera?
So I craigslisted sugar daddies and I'm pretty sure I found us one if you can pretend to be asian.
Im just using you for your dick and your superb survival skills if needed.
His hair looked like he was in a bukaki and then got a perm right after
Last night you said you were going to stop drinking and then proceeded to dip cookies in your vodka.
Sadly that explains a lot.
When I watch porn and jerk off like 95% of the time Iron Chef is on in the background...
no we just smoked too much weed and listened to the tarzan soundtrack. phil collins is amazing
He left a fire sauce packet from taco bell that said "promise you'll text me in the morning" on my nightstand.
I had such a bad bruise on my knees from blowing him so much, he asked if he could sign it...
If he moved really quickly from "hi I've had a crush on you for years" to "send nudes" you probably were used.
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