Is it weird i consider You Sexy Thing our song?
not to mention it took an hour of antique roadshow to calm my dick down
Everyone in the office is in total denial. I asked my boss what he did this weekend and he said "nothing much." But I know we were both thinking about the orgy.
my mom just walked in on me in the shower doing the "ass hair shave" pose.
I just explained it as we hate everyone in the world more then we hate each other. Thus making us friends. Plus we drink...a lot
I think drinking is the foundation of our friendship
The hypnotist is here. He has a black eye and smells like tequila.
Its kind of weird knowing that im only seeing you that day to fuck in some woods
I guess I've just seen a lot of penises since then
he looks SO much like Drake, I feel like an extreme groupie every time we have sex.
Bud... Did you mean to tweet a picture of your dick? If not just letting you know.
Bourbon is too strong for my cat, he does not want to drink it
Tbh I would eat a grilled cheese off your dick.
That was the best shit ever it was like an exorcism for my colon
I look like a hot mess, emphasis on the hot now, more emphasis on the mess later
Did you get drunk between now and two texts ago?
Randomize