Told a girl i wanted to feel her bellybutton from the inside... I need to learn how to flirt
her underwear stopped being sexy when i saw her pubes sticking out of the top.
Then, he just started shoving orange pieces in my mouth as a chaser
even the AIR tastes like tequila.
He woke up, got my bottle of water and poured it on me and then went back to sleep. Not really how I want to wake up at 2 a.m.
currently wearing a football players overly sized underwear. discovered a shot count on my leg. I'm a tank hahahhh
You don't understand. This could be the last time I shave a star into my vag. Get over here.
It's gay pride, I'm in my EMT uniform getting more girls than your straight ass ever will..
I feel like vibrating beds are just synonymous with venereal diseases.
I hooked up with Spider-Man on the hood of Santas car. I kept saying that he could shoot his web at me. Also I found Waldo. Overall good night.
I had the hottest doctor assess me at the hospital. He smelled like heaven and sex.
His exact words: "I don't have anything you can't treat with antibiotics."
I should have known when she mixed malibu and V8. It smelled just like tanning oil and when she drank it she said "Oh well, not the first time."
I just woke up, dressed as Chris Brown, with a bunless hot dog (presumably from 7/11) in my pocket, wearing a pair of shoes I don't recognize as my own. Help.
These freshmen are fun! The redhead wants to practice her blowjob skills with me and let me rate different moves!
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