i ate 2 chicken nuggets and puked out 5. that doesn't even make mathematical sense
Working on an important paper into the wee hours of the morning, and every time I type the word "situation," I can't help but think of effing Jersey Shore. Those guidos are now ruining my academic life.
you went around and groping mens pants to see "which was worthy" of you to go home with.
My entire floor is waiting for the couple to come out of the shower. She's a screamer. We've blockaded them
he walked in on you at the party drunkenly dancing alone on the bed wearing mardi gras beads, sunglasses, and using one ski pole as a microphone.... and you STILL got laid. i dont get your life.
I've hooked up with 3 different guys already this week...don't tell me I haven't been a productive member of society
this kid is using one arm to help his buddy with a keg stand, and the other arm to hold up the chick he's making out with.
You drunk dialed me and told me to jump out of my second story window so I could give you head. I almost considered it.
I'd like to say yes, but I nearly lost my shit when I assumed there was no back to my house. I am not strong enough for hallucinations.
You are a booty call, not a friend.
Don't even start with me. You know damn well if you walked into a bathroom with two girls naked in the shower you would stay too. Regardless how drunk I was or whether or not you were my ride.
Your vagina felt like having sex with thanksgiving mashed potatoes. The best kind of mashed potatoes
I just bought sparkling water with plan B. I am the most basic bitch to ever exist.
it looks like a nuclear can of fuck blew up in here
This is either going to be a hilarious catfish or the fuck trophy of the century.
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