I'm watching a show called "I didn't know I was pregnant" on TLC...Apparently this happens enough that there is a series
My body isn't even mad at me...just disappointed
We're going to shave my junk and take pictures of it wearing fake mustaches we found at the dollar store. They're uncannily realistic; much better than the cockstaches of my youth.
Oh god, so much rum. I think I was in a shotgun wedding with a Bacardi promotion girl.
there is vodka in my soul right now. The vapor is coming out my nose.
Is it really road head if took place on kayaks in the river?
This amicable friendliness is dull. We either need to start fighting or fucking around. I'll even let you pick.
You jumped into so many bushes for no reason
You keep talking about hotdogs and yelling "COME ON DOWN, LET ME SEE WHAT YOU'RE WEARING"
I told him I had an IUD and he asked me how was a bomb a form of birth control..
I woke up with a black eye and a buttplug...not sure I really want to know what happened.
Apparently the cops had to handcuff me in order to get me to come with to the hospital with them. They asked me if I had had any experience with handcuffs before and I replied, "Only in bed." What a life
I should probably add her on Facebook for as much as I cheat off her in Physics, huh?
I'm good. But Nutella doesn't taste as good as it used to.
Dude, I danced with Abe Lincoln! How could last night have been any better???
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