i've counted 4 condom wrappers but only 3 condoms. not again.
Girls are like M&M's, once the lights go out you can't tell the difference.
ok please explain why some one shaved half of my pubes?
I could tell by the way he was holding my hand that he really liked you
We're sending your burrito through the mail slot.
Aside from the slim chance of pregnancy, I'm gonna call last night a raging success.
Just smokin in the creek with some deer, they like the smoke, I know.
Sorry I invoked the "everyones getting smacked including myself policy last night"
I'm having a hard time existing right now. When I figure out how it works ill be over.
DON'T YOU TELL ME I HAVE HERPES ON MY BIRTHDAY. THAT IS MOST DEFINITELY NOT A HAPPY BIRTHDAY.
During sex his mom asks from the other side of the door, "Do you like avocados?" Who doesn't like avocados?
My name will be tattooed on his ass by sunday.
My neighbor came out@4am in a pink nite gown n clotheslined a punk on a mo-ped w/her mop handle, then just walked back in her house like she just checked the mail. MILF 1 PUNK 0
Ok, stop saying "youths." You're 23.
Why is this not the first time I’ve seen the mugshot of someone I’ve slept with
Randomize
