I love my bros weed
Im gonna hate it in like 20 mins though
i think you know its gunna be a bad day when it starts with throwing up into a red plastic cup
Would love to except that I crashed into a hearse in a funeral procession about an hour ago so I think that pretty much put an end to my day.
we did rock-paper-scissors to see who would find out if you had alcohol poisoning
I don't have a choice really. It's either lose 15 lbs by Halloween, or I'm going as a giant banana.
Operation liquormelon is in full effect. We may die tonight.
I'm on the struggle bus
just ordered a number 1 at a fast food restaurant that doesn't have numbers
Me and allie were just offered cocaine by a strange man in a women's bathroom. Why have I not lived in Austin my whole life?
Didn't know hookah bars could end badly. I feel for her hair
The trash can in my living room is full of Popsicle sticks and my vibrator has taken up permanent residence on my coffee table. I'm not doing anything productive. Clearly.
I snapchatted him nudes and he didn't screenshot a single one of them because he's a gentleman.
First poop in my apartment for the summer, officially settled in. :)
Omg. Tonight might be the night I masturbate thinking of a smoothie!
he rolled over in the morning and told me happy valentines day. i don't even know his first name.
We're meant to be. Apparently God wants me to get dicked down pretty good too so I'm not complaining about destiny
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