Something clean will definitely be barfed on tomorrow.
Bro, I met the coolest hottest chick tonight and she has the hottest friends.
Where are you?
Strip Club
lol whn u cming hre I nd 2 c ur fce
IF YOU TEXT ME ONE MORE SHORTENED VERSION OF A WORD, THE ONLY THING YOU'LL SEE IS MY FIST IN YOUR FACE.
when my dick couldnt get hard she said "fly on little wing"
Whose surfboard did we steal and why is there a wood carving of a pelican in the fridge where the beer used to be?
Why would he get rid of a girl with no gag reflex? I don't get it.
Do you think you can get drunk by standing in a tank of vodka if it is seeping into your skin?
I have 20 seconds to get my life together and look presentable.
It's called "lets see how many European capitals we can do the walk of shame through in one year"
After he came, I wiped my mouth on my baby blanket. I could feel nana rolling over in her grave.
I pretty much told him I was too sober for this an just walked away and all I heard was "IT'S BECAUSE IM A BAD KISSER ISN'T IT" OVER AND OVER AGAIN
We were watchin sharknado and we hooked up while I had the Donald Trump shirt on. She said she felt like he was staring at her
danced like there was no tomorrow. surprise. there's a tomorrow
"Fwd: Nice to meet you last night thanks for the tit flash" no recollec. i am officially banned from wearing tube tops to the bar.
Don't drag this out. All I need to know is if I have to put pants on or not.
Randomize
