So in our children's lit class, some jackass little boy had gone thru the where's waldo book and circled waldo. I realize you would have been that kid.
We just licked a sour creme and onion chip for salt for a tequila shot. Our vacation has officially begun.
i'll prob lay in bed. its weird not having to track my wallet down, its become such a weekly habit. i suddenly have so much free time
I jerked him off and then punched him in the face for no reason. Typical evening drinking Sailor Jerry's.
I was very proud of myself that day. I had an awesome time. I don't care if I negatively impacted others.
The important thing is not that we avoid making mistakes, but that we avoid learning from them.
Dude, seduce him with cookies. You almost turned me gay with scones. Don't be surprised when they get you laid.
Im coming down to miami this weekend
We shall drink from the everclear river
Fell asleep in the library, woke up because I almost let out a sleep fart. That was close.
Life is my bitch right now. The bouncers tried to carry me out of the club, but everyone thought I was crowd surfing so everyone carried me BACK IN. Winning as fuck.
Just saw a couple chasing each other on lawn mowers. Oh South Knoxville.
I was a bouncer for about 90 seconds until the real bouncers figured out that I was doing their job
He has a burner phone just to send dick pics. It's revolutionary
That isn't the worst part. It got a bazillion times more awkward when he read me a poem he wrote about his dead cat.
I love how when he said ecstasy pills both of our heads whipped around like a couple of horned owls.
Randomize
