I sent her a Relationship Request on Facebook last night, she accepted and we fucked.. I changed my Relationship Status to Single, I think she'll get the point
friends with benefits? more like friends with awkward sexual tension
Remember in school when they told us our vag was made just the right size for our future husband? I must say I am enjoying trying to find that perfect fit.
Using your Catholic School education as an excuse for this? Why didn't I think of that?!
I may be a little fuzzy on this, but I think at some point I said something about being a generous lover.
I AM SUCH A BETTER PERSON ON DRUGS
I'm really not interested in hearing from him. Unless there is casual sex involved
Might just stay in and drink cuz of the hurricane. Yea I think Wisconsin might be safe but its a good reason to drink.
I just realized that the first thing he ever bought me was Plan B.
After my lunch today, I've got $10 till Sunday night. I am losing at life.
If your night didn't end with writing a witness report for the cops at a shwarma place, your night was probably less interesting than mine.
Sitting in bed reading a porn novel off my phone and accidentally just made Siri start reading the most graphic part aloud. FUN FIRST NIGHT WITH THE NEW ROOMIE.
"Masturbate" is an actual item on an actual ToDo list of mine. It is at the top.
It's rum buckets o'clock
I feel a little uneasy about having my grandma sleep in my bed that I've banged chicks in not too long ago... Fuckin blizzards
I just wanted to personally thank you for throwing clementine slivers at me across the room while we made out
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