If Rob Pattinson gets another fucking MTV award, I'm going to vomit.
So is chris hansen cool in person? Or is it just awkward while you wait for the cops?
I have started doing my homework in bars. It just feels right.
They woke me up at 6am and made me drink a bottle pf champagne yelling "champagne breakfast!"
I still don't understand how I went from crying to blowing you in like two minutes.
There's a stripper banging on the door demanding to see you.
You got cut off after you tried to make the dog funnel moscato.
I just peed in a flower pot on the veranda while crying and holding a drink
And your cousins porn shouldn't have been the first straight porn you watched. And for that I am sorry
So that advice that humming stops you from puking? Yeah no, just puked through my nose.
Last night apparently I said "I need a break" and then I just passed the fuck out for 3 hours
She is dumping me if she doesn't get a ring by Valentines. So one more month of free sex and it will be back to the right hand.
In Texas. Drank way too much wine. Puked in a gallon zip lock bag. Passed out at 445 with the ENTIRE family here. Got up at 745 in time for dinner. I made you proud!!!
So high I legit spent 20mins in the shower just holding my tits cuz they feel bigger than normal.
He's literally cuddling with the washer and dryer.
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