More dangerous that a broken heart and a shotgun.
you kept screaming i cant feel my vagina, it kinda killed the mood.
Please check on her. She announced that Thursday she'd open herself to any veteran so as to thank them for their service. "my services for your service" and left the bar with three numbers.
He came in like 30 seconds. That's how I know he hasn't been cheating on me while I've been gone
It is official. It's the year of doin married chicks. Similar to the year of virgins but without all the baggage.
you came out with your cock in between the legs of a balloon animal. Maybe she'll think you have a sense of humor.
What kind of balloon animal was it?
I wasn't an ass in college so much more like I showed my ass a lot especially during serious beerpong games. You know I don't fuck around when it comes to sports.
first time i ever mailed panties back to a fuck buddy. what better of a way to say its over
i don't know if this is a cannibal joke or a sexual innuendo, and i think that's a beautiful description of our relationship.
So random question. Does beer act the same as other alcohol disinfectants?
I don't know which I need first...a shower or a confessional.
The only reason I have clothes in my overnight bag is to cover up my sex toys.
Just let me suck your dick and be happy. Let me have this.
I just saw the co founder of Waffle House passed away Friday. Are you okay?
That's about the same time my life started falling apart... Coincidence?!?!? I think NOT!!!
He agreed to matching Christmas pajamas today, no guy does that for a girl he’s not seriously considering marrying.
Randomize
