is that paris hilton dressed up as the guy from star trek who hosts reading rainbow
apparently when i got back to tyler's i layed face down on the bed and yelled "don't hurt my asshole!"
there's a guy on campus handing out business cards. you pay him to see if your girlfriend will cheat. the company name is "tying up loose ends"
Well his aunt was in the next room so we had to be quiet. I felt like i was on an episode of silent library.
I am more sore today than I was after my car wreck. Take it as a compliment that you bang harder than a semi-truck.
Yes..we had amazing sex that I have a 50 percent chance of remembering.
I feel like I had a lobotomy last night. I blacked out. Did we try to stick my Penis in a beer bottle?
Do you think she hates me because I thought her roommate's name actually was Butterface?
I would rather deep fry my own cock while it's still attached to me than have his life.
Whatever. I hate you. My vagina hates you. I hope a bird shits on your head today.
He suck his junk in my HALF BAKED. Ben & Jerry would totally disapprove. This is worse than sticky dick donut day.
Nothing like introducing yourself to your high school boyfriend's wife as "the girl who took his virginity"
If you're not my stylist, having sex with me, or agreeing to have sex with me don't fucking touch my hair.
we woke up when the front wall of the house caught fire.
I just recommended that the library purchase the first major hentai with tentacle porn. Really, I'm doing everyone a favor.
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