did the hipsters beat you up because you are more ironic than they are?
i feel like im playing gay clue. i have to figure out where i am, who took me home, and what he put in me
what part of "i slept with our hot teacher" are you not excited about?!
the part where you beat me to him
fair enough.
he's washing the lighter in the sink and telling me to picture unicorns. requesting backup.
I just saw someone EAT a flashcard out of frustration. Finals suck.
it was like, one of those nights where you keep going back to the fridge because you just can't get full. except, with sex.
It was weird. Like "Mom, Dad, here's a guy who knows my orgasm face".
Travis is back on this booty and burgers thing. If I'm his delivery service for food he better fuck me how I want.
I knew it would get worse when I said I think your roommate is watching and he looked over at him and said ... So?
My sister was borrowing my phone when the sext came through. She just said "wow. He's got a nice dick!" Then went on like nothing happened. Outed by a dick pic and its no big deal. Best sister ever.
I just had to beg some random guy to help me climb through your porch window since the door was locked. FYI...i hear you having sex in there. You could of at least taken a break to unlock the damn door. WTF!!!
It's time to run my sex life like a basketball team. Got the lesson Clint!
How's Vegas?
Woke up with a sculpture of my own head. Been trying to find Ashley for two days. so pretty not too bad.
I can't possibly be the only person who has ever eaten Cheetos with a spoon to avoid the powder getting in my fingers
we had to follow your trail of clothes to find you.......
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