But do you think a lot of ppl use facebook as a masturbation supplement to porn?
Let me make clear that I am not a facebook masturbator
I had a dream you and I were having sex. It was pretty romantic.... until you started pulling out toys.
its like he missed a chap in the "being a guy" handbook and read the bible instead
Rooting for you and your team in the Beer Olympics this afternoon...! Love you, Mom
bars should really give you discounts for bringing your own shot glass
all i remember is being at the diner with her at 3am and her storming into the kitchen to make sure the chef gave me regular fries instead of home fries.
he was like the dessert in the all you can eat man buffet that has become my life.
I'm not upset because i like you. I'm upset because I can't use you for the sex anymore.
I still don't like him. I'm also filled with alcohol, so I'll revisit the statement in the morning.
Things my liver can't take in one weekend. Surprise nights off at work and male strippers. Woke up jaundiced.
If I was a guy I'd keep a condom in my pocket, in my wallet, in my backpack, in my car, in my shoe, behind my fucking ear
WAKE THE EFF UP THE UBER DRIVER IS TRYING TO TAKE ME HOME
My apartment is so clean right now, I should invite someone over for sex just so someone can see how clean it is.
Some guy just walked past the bus stop in a lab coat and with a samurai sword and case...
How do you explain to your parents that you can't go to the library because you got banned for being drunk in there... on a Sunday afternoon?
That's $100,000 of quality education right there.
Randomize
