I just got back to Nicks and I shoul dnot have drank this much when I have to work at 7AM!!!!!
i felt like we were having sex on ultimate fighter, and people on the outside kept yelling ELBOW ELBOW! KNEES KNEES!
yeh she's definitely getting a ham and plan b omelette in the morning
the only reason i even kissed her was because we were having sex when it midnight, and i heard people yelling "happy new year."
FOUR LOKO IS YES. SUNDAY MORNING DRUNK IS YES.
God gave him joint rollers for hands
ya i guess you have to take things with a grain of salt in a place where nipple clamps are the norm..
Woke up Christmas Eve morning with my face smelling like ballsack.. No regrets.
That moment when you realize the hot british guy named rory you drunkenly made out with at a bar is American, is named Tyler, and has a girlfriend.
all his sexual metaphors involve condiments, should I worry?
It can't be Friday yet, in still getting friend requests of people I don't remember from last weekend
my goal is to never have a bac of 0.0 the whole time while in the state of florida, which means i have to chug a beer before i cross the state line
My ex boyfriend just amazon primed me a vibrator...guess I seemed stressed?
Why is there a pair of panties on my front lawn?
I don’t have enough daddy issues for this shit, make him go away
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