i'm sure her mom would have loved to find out her daughter has herpes via facebook
I just met lou reed's venus in furs. Her hands are slippery.
that thing about your dad's boner was meant to be a compliment
dude, i just saw a bobcat while i was rollerblading this morning
1 dont ever text someone @ 8am on sat. 2 dont ever admit to rollerblading past 1992.
so how do you plan on seducing my econ TA?
by telling him that he has a large supply and that i demand it...in my mouth. it shows him that i'm slutty and that i pay attention in econ
I just got licked by a stripper, not so great anymore.
he was alternating between taking bites of butter and bagel. he said it was easier than finding a knife
So "Abstinence August" was a bust. Maybe I'll try for "Sex-free September" or "Only if we're facebook official October"
My night consisted of weed, sex, and Mexican food. In that order. I think we found the keys to saving our marriage.
I just want to hug my vagina but I can't!\nLike, I want to wrap my arms around it and say "I'm sorry"
U should feel bad.. u r like a sex politician. All talk and no follow thru
Based on the grey fur I pulled from my teeth, I think her vagina has mice.
He's hot and has an accent therefore you don't ask questions when he tells you to take your pants off.
All I can remember from last night was eating nutella and touching myself to Weird Science.
Where do you think your fantastically immense lady-boner for men in uniform comes from?
Randomize
