I think I died a long time ago.
I’m once again drinking at eight am on a Sunday in my tutu. This garment is literally my best purchase ever.
suddenly SuperBad didn't seem so funny anymore...she did have her period on my leg.
hot pretzels for dinner, snacks, and now breakfast...oh to be a poor college student...everyday is like a carnival.
Foreign porn with subtitles is a little disappointing.
My walk of shame was far more interesting today. He's moving and was cleaning out his apartment, so not only was I carrying my clothes, I also walked away with 4 bottles of cheap wine and a jar of ragu.
Oh god I may vomit into the teacup of debauchery.
Want to come over? I'm getting stoned and watching Netflix and making s'mores over a candle in my room
I just got a call from the front desk apparently one of my feiends was dropped off by a handicap bus passed out in a wheel chair unlv is goig down
SHUT UP I CAN'T HEAR YOU OVER THE SOUND OF UKULELE AND LONLINESS
This is literally engraved into my seat "Need crack?" And then there's a number. This isn't real.
At least I had a $10 coupon for Plan B today. Smart shopping for bad decisions
a guy just walked through our campsite, crouched down by the truck, screamed "ACID ONLY LASTS FOR 8 HOURS RIGHT?!", then ran off into the bushes
Lost my pants last night. Really need to stop taking shots of whiskey like I'm eating skittles.
annnnd thats why you don't tip your waiter by flashing them
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