I had to get a ride home from that girl that slept with 3/4 of the band
Having an 'SDSU Mom' sticker is just like say 'Hi, my daughter has an std"
No, I'm only going to drink half my paycheck. That's the responsible thing to do.
this kid at 40 friday greeted another kid by saying "heeey farmville neighbor"
dude.
yep. needless to say i didn't meet anyone and spent yet another friday night masturbating.
If I buy you $300 worth of popeyes, will that make up for me trashing the house?
Chances are I'll be there for your wedding. Camelbaks filled with jack and coke are appropriate attire, right?
My arms are sore from holding up pukeahontas for so long
The slot machines are wishing me happy birthday. Mission success.
Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face.
wait can you just like go into detail with this penis touching thing? like was it a hand job or was it like a day at the petting zoo or something
I don't remember... but I heard a cop threatened to pepper spay my dick
Nothing like coming home and finding the nearly full bottle of fireball you forgot you had stashed before your trip
It's the little things
I swear the toilet was so cold I tried to stand up but my balls wer frozen to it. most awkward five minutes between me and my mom.
I just put on underwear fresh outta the dryer and it's like tiny Angels are giving them warm supportive hugs all over
The room got awkwardly silent right as i yelled "leave him alone! I know plenty of straight guys who like to suck dick!"
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