You up for the gym tonight after work?
I'm up for a light workout and a nice yog.
Fair enough, I'm gonna hit it hard today.
Chris Brown style, or less felonious?
Haha, all felonious.
In Canada she would be a 10 but here in America she's only a 7
The words "my birth control fell out" should never be spoken
So high. I just took a picture of my chewed gum so I can remember to paint a picture of it as a cloud later.
she both took care of me and took advantage of me. it was BEAUTIFUL.
The usual. Woke up on a dog bed with peeps and $11.
You do realize there's a subtle difference between not remembering your outfit from april 17th of last year vs forgetting that last night you undressed in the street and were grabbing every dick you could reach, right?
Just drove past the dude that came in your sock
Pros and cons of selling your underwear to a guy on craigslist. Go.
Come down off the roof.
im not sure what exactly happened but i may need help faking my own death
That bottle of wine took a part of my soul with it.
You are a lesbian wizard with red hair. You are willow
I wouldn't know what to do. You never really mentally prepare for a cactus getting thrown at your face.
You ran into the tattoo shop screaming PIERCE MY TITIES
Had a very good bday. Have the teeth marks and bruises to prove it
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