I am pretty sure the guy in the stall two dwn from me is jerking it...seriously
Can we fast forward to the part where we get gyros
just wondering who decided to put a cup of throw up in my fridge
we went to get a refill in his room and ended up having sex and passing out. then he woke me up with sex and gave me a beer for breakfast. i never want this to end
Its official, drinking for 15 hours counts as a suicide attempt
I gave him head and we watched Fashion Police. somehow it wasn't awkard.
Noooo. We thought it would be funny for him to wake up buried in the sand. But we just remembered about the whole high tide thing and it's dark and it's pretty damn hard to find an unconscious head sticking out of the sand. Just help us out
You convinced her to break up with her boyfriend, made out with her all night, got her to buy us all shots then went home with a different girl...
That explains the "i hate you" text. But the facebook deletion is a bit harsh
He just stared into my eyes and touched himself. That isn't hooking up.
Whore are you.
Is that a Yoda insult or are you asking me where I am?
Yes.
I'll probably just end up banging you in your parents marital bed,in their honor of course.
I do not love him. There is no love. Only sex and meatloaf.
i’m blowing bubbles in my bloody mary so yeah it’s pretty much time to go
I couldn't have possibly been that bad
You had her flip the penny over to the lucky side before you picked it up and ate it...
Cancel your plans for the fourth someone is streaming iron chef on twitch
Randomize
