is this the only place in the world where you can get shot on one side of town, and have to stop for cows crossing the street on the other side?
6 figure salary? he just got a little cuter.
I mean I found and stalk his moms facebook.. that obsessed.
she was pretty happy for someone in the middle of a herpes outbreak, how was i supposed to know?
I just dropped macaroni right down my cleavage. For the sake of our future, I'm really banking on this being a turn on for you.
We were laying in the basement dry humping to the rhythm of the washing machine
He came home all fucked up crying slammed his bedroom door and all we could hear for about three hours was THIS ISN'T GONA RUIN MYLIFe what happend
I told him I got this chick pregnant and he has to get a new wingman
I still smell like men's body wash from that drunken shower I took at that stranger's home last night.
The drag queen we did coke with is going to be on Ru Paul's drag race. I feel so proud.
I woke up with a dick pic from the ex-Mormon via email. Not really what I wanted to see before my first cup of coffee this morning, but I gotta say, I'm impressed.
Mark my words I will never date another cop again. I don't care if he's JESUS.
Actually, lets be honest. I will probably keep calling him the pastor because it brings me joy using pastor and fuck buddy in the same sentence.
fuck school, let's just become the worst strippers ever
WHY THE FUCK DOES RICKY'S BROTHER GET AN ENTIRE POT OF PASTA FOR BEING SHIRTLESS AND ALL I GET IS ARRESTED?!
Hey, um, after thinking about it, I decided I really don't want to use applying olive oil to your ass for your fissure as part of foreplay because... well... really? Just read that again.
Randomize