two pink lines on a pregnancy test is bad, isn't it?
only if you didn't want to fuck up your life.
Remember back in the day when getting fingered in the movie theater was the best thing ever?
According to Glamour magazine, experiencing sexual pleasure helps you live longer. I am dying an early death.
There is no point in being painfully greyhound thin if you are then going to dress like it's raining in 1992.
I knew it was gonna be a rough night when the guys next to us at Relay for Life started shot gunning beers and yelling "This ones for all the hot chicks that went bald because of cancer". It kinda went downhill from there....
Its so fun. We're having a music war with the boat next to us. They have strippers.
I want the one making out with the dumpster. Is that bad?
Im down. Even tho your nick name intimidates my vagina.
you asked my brother if you could eat the cupcake that you found. you were showing him a baked potato
you puked in the bathtub and said "let them pee"
Is the booze for tonight or the apocalypse?
Both. Pregaming the zombie party and hurricane sustenance.
I also like to call Halloween "Mystery Fuck Day"
Date idea: we should go to the store and buy all the different kinds of Lay's and eat them all
Good god you suck at this wake up call. Seriously. If I can, after consuming enough vodka to subdue a russian soldier, muster up enough motivation to call you in the morning and send you naked pictures the least you could do is pick up.
I'm so gassy and it's your fault.
Randomize
