Note to Self: No matter how horny, turned on or in the moment you are, never go down on your gf after she had soccer practice.
Do you know how hard it is to masturbate with a runny nose?
I have blocked the memory from my mind. He is just a fuzzy cloud floating with my other bad decisions..
Wtf. I just got invited to a threeway bj session in the bathroom at boiler. Lmao
You face planted into a car door. And somehow didn't drop your burrito.
What is their policy on bow ties and belligerence?
As its breast cancer awareness month, I'm going to do my part by making everyone aware of my breasts
I'm confused as to why I have a picture of your boobs in response to a photo of my father
At 12:16 am. We just got out of the truck and went behind it and fucked. With 3 people in the truck. On the side of the road. As cars drove by.
I only want to come over for sex and blueberry pancakes
my nose is crying tears of wow.
It wasn't until I lost my earring that I realized "I've been here before". Turns out we fucked a year ago. We've decided to make it a tradition.
Did you fill my inhaler with tequila?
Yeah, so?
I don't want to just hook up with random dudes. I've had enough bad sex to know that it's not worth hooking up with strangers
It's not?
New rock bottom. Woke up at 7 am fully clothed in a bathtub full of water. I hate myself.
Randomize
