if i could have babies with my dog i totally would cause i know thay would be fucking hott babies.
I just got three quarters of the way there before I realized I was way too stoned for class so I bought a smoothie and walked home.
I started dry heaving in the middle of sex and she says "You moan funny."
just so you know... i was wasted last night, but the evening is coming back to me in flashes... i made you eat gravy last night, didn't i?
NASCAR RACE 2010 NO REGRETZZZ!!!
It is literally 8 in the morning.
Okay good. And who the fuck put a condom on my foot. That shit hurt
I think the duck is in my room. You have no idea how much worse a duck makes a hangover
The horrors my penis has endured I wouldn't wish upon any man.
Last time we had a party like that I woke up naked on the pool table with a chalk outline around me and a empty bottle of jager duct taped to my hand.
Yea. I'm excited about this party too
Her vagina was like a painting you can put your face in.
nana can keg stand better than me. should i be proud?
Do you think dominoes pizza would deliver faster if I told them I just had shower sex and that always makes me hungry?
We peed together in a dark alley while holding hands. That is a bond that can never be broken.
leave me alone I'm becoming one with nature and doing plant things
Let's just say his oral game was lacking. Hell, lacking is too nice of a word to describe it.
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