I'm wearing a childsize birthday hat and a bib. I am the def of sex appeal rite now
Yeah, but thats the third time she's peed on me.
Dear everyone. As mark stated i did the 'piss n run' last night. This is all new to me and it scares me. Again, sorry. "if i could turn back time" -cher
Too late, the blunt's already in my cleavage
we are both sitting on my bed desperately refreshing the order tracking page for dominos.
Everyone is slow dancing to Aerosmith. I am serenading a slice of pizza.
Today's hangover is a "wear sunglasses while pooping in the dark" kind of day
We found him wrapped up in a giant table umbrella in the bathroom.
If you value your immune system buddy, walk away from that one.
If I had that in my pants Omg I would want a shirt made so everyone knew
Let me begin to explain the rest of last night by beginning with saying that out if necessity I took a pair of your underwear
i am laugh crying so hard the guy next door stopped playing guitar
Strip club or gay bar tonight?
I am an emotionally compromised bisexual.
I just jacked off to nostalgia.
you said you were the change fairy and you kept throwing all of your quarters at me.
Randomize
