'hiiiigh' is saved in my t9 for a reason
even through the webcam i could tell he was aiming for my face/hair
Call me back. I want to hear your side of the dead cat in my garage story.
Just walked pass a bum on the way to a coinstar... awkward
Dating a girl 4 years younger than you is like living in a Taylor Swift song...
I just saw two girls throwing up in the bathroom. they were high-fiving under the stall...
So you used a whole package of smoked meat last night. Didn't eat it, just took it out and put it all over the fridge.
There's two girls at the bar sniffing each others boobs.
Hey got that picture this morning. 1. clean your room 2.what happened to your nail? and 3. your penis is amazing,.
We left the bar in 2 bicycle cabs. It cost thirty bucks and they took us to the wrong hotel. When we finally made it to the right one we ended up in a room with three randos from alaska. Jammed out with them for like an hour. Those inuits are good guitar players
I FOUND AN AUSTRALIAN THEY CALL VOMMING 'RAINBOW SNEEZING' I'M NEVER LETTING HIM LEAVE EVER
The bouncer was just about to kick Sarah out for getting with this guy 'too physically'. I told him that was 'her style' and he let them stay. Banter.
I was asked last night if Magnum makes a XXL..... I don't think I've ever broken this many condoms in my life
He's hot....knda sweaty, drunk smells like feet....but he's hung like a whale....so in other words totally your type
One day when i undoubtedly need an intervention please let it include lightsabers.
I think I can handle that.
Randomize
