Uhhh...do I owe you any money? Or an apology? Or anything?
Pretty people don't get stds, I knew it
girl next to me is signing up for tough love. definitely getting laid.
Found a joint walking to class. I feel like the environment is rewarding me for being green.
I told him the truth. Truth leads to vodka. Vodka leads to tequila. Tequila leads to prison.
You don't understand, we were on a waffle house. Both of us were absolutely certain we passed out at his place then BAM! Waffle house.
I think I shall call his penis Gatsby. We talk about it all the time, but I never see it.
It's always awkward in the office the day after your boss sends you a dick pic.
I'M NOT READY TO BE AB ADULT YET!!!
He threw me over his shoulder and carried me outside, all the while drinking from the bottle of rum he was holding, while my ex watched. I'm winning the break-up.
Just masturbating and watching Sports Center...is this what it's like to be a guy?!
I accidentally mass texted his dick pic. Not only to my friends, but to my dad as well...
Sexting and pancakes... It's going to be hard to top that
It's only funny because he thinks you had sex with him to rob him.
I JUST FARTED SO LOUD AND HARD I IMMEDIATELY TASTED IT
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