I'm in a strip club that reminds me of a crack house from the 80's.
Dude. Hurry up. They just blessed the tequila.
I need a second opinion on who's blood is in my car.
the world took limewire and four lokos away from me in one week....hello depression
you literally pushed me forward in the seat so you could puke behind my back without the cabbie noticing..
apparently he thought telling me 'the weasel wants to come out to play' would somehow convince me to go down on him
Just bought the plane tickets. Light headed. Blood rush to clit oh god blue clit. Mayday mayday vagina down!
I can't let him end my perfect streak. HE USED TO BE FAT
Dunno why I keep hitting snooze. It's never gonna give me the kind of sleep I need to be sober.
I told him if he cums in my mouth he has to buy me a cake that says "sorry I came in your mouth"
if i ever wake up in the morning and don't feel a boner in my asscrack then this relationship is over
I'm not gay but if a lesbian wants to eat my box out I'm not gonna say no to someone who knows what they're doing.
I just cut open the plastic package of a Plan B pill using the bottle opener I carry in my purse. #whyidrink
I'm in the kitchen making quiche for my fuck buddy and his wife. I'm probably not the chick to get dating advice from.
My mother expressed her concerns about my drinking via a facebook message.
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