biggest mistake ever: halloween 2009
And then she started grabbing onto random guys legs, asking their names, and if they wanted to be friends... Haha, I love when the girls my ex's are dating are total drunken whores.
just left the emergency room. condom extraction.
Just grabbed my laptop and a beer to take a shit. Mom gave me a look of disgust. I miss college.
Life is so much better when you know you're gonna get laid soon.
He's engaged. If the world's smallest penis can find true love than I can too.
we've had sex 4 times and he still refers to me as 'the chick in my chem class'
Have you resumed life with the rest of the world yet or are you still huddled in the fetal position while wearing compression gear?
Seriously, don't even. "Hi, have I seen you half naked covered in bright red body paint on the internet?" is NOT acceptable water-cooler chit-chat.
Aw.
You just kept walking around in a circle saying "well played 6th street well played" before falling over.
Why can't I come over and snuggle you and make you lick my boots
I am one with the molecules
This is not a drill. I need a cape. And a tuxedo. Simultaneously. Repeat. NOT. A. DRILL....
His idea of a night out is drinking beer in the driveway. He's been on house arrest too long
Nothing to be ashamed of. I bet Oprah has sharted.
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