I just had teddy grams, ritz crackers, and twizzlers for dinner. Hello, end of the semester.
Banging bitches in a bar bathroom is not legit as it was in college, there are no fistpumps afterward only shame
We bought a hamster while completely stoned and 2 hours later returned it because your mother wouldnt let you bring it in her house. You cried. a lot.
Wtf are freshmen gonna think when the first thing they see in a pale 6'4 white kid with a mustache yelling ya man and we be liming in a Trinidadian accent
He pissed on a police station. Then expected to not be arrested. Sounds accurate.
I only see on penis in this picture but I assume there is another lurking out of sight.
Vodka tonic time....wish me luck!
Go for it my man. I'm saving my shit show night for tomorrow. Gonna make it a big one just to let the entire bar know why I'm single
You can't play that off as role play thing. You held my hips and kept yelling "put a baby in me!" That shit ain't cool.
Well it's like a wise man once told me: "If you're going to shave your balls, don't do it hungover."
my phone went off during the middle of it and he ask what i was doing. he wouldn't let my reply with "your boss". ..
But really- as the voice of your vagina I am BEGGING you to do it. If not for yourself than for your poor innocent puss
You haven't lived until you've snorted coke from a Pharaoh's hand baby
I should be free tonight unless my 5 speed vibrator arrives in the mail today, than we might have scheduling conflicts.
OMG WE ARE UP TO THREE MINORS WORKING HERE. I AM NOT READY FOR THIS MID LIFE CRISIS.
I am going to bedazzle the shit out of your Basilisk costume.
Randomize
